


confessions of an imaginary cat

by thunderylee



Category: NewS (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, M/M, Romance, brief masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-19
Updated: 2007-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-07 15:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12844077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: 5 things Wagahai only knows about Shige, and 1 thing Wagahai knows that Shige doesn’t





	confessions of an imaginary cat

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck.

Just because he’s not real doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist.

Wagahai’s been silent for too long. He’s watched his owner go through too much, not enough, and barely scraping by. Master Shige deserves to be happy, and he is. Sort of. Kato Shigeaki is happy in that settling way, in that he doesn’t think he can do any better so he makes do with what he has. Which is fine for anyone else, but not Master Shige, at least in Wagahai’s professional opinion.

The best part about being imaginary is that he can be with Shige all the time. It’s like he has an all-access pass to wherever Shige goes, be it the dressing room, Shige’s school, or even the shower. Sometimes Shige doesn’t even know he’s there, but he is; watching, observing, plotting.

Don’t get the wrong idea – Wagahai would never want to hurt Master Shige. He doesn’t have a grand plan to out all of Shige’s dirty little secrets and taint him for life. Shige’s secrets aren’t really that dirty anyway.

Wagahai purrs contently as he waits for the events to unfold. ****

> **\i/ one’s company.**

“I don’t know,” Shige says to Wagahai as he shrugs off his jacket and flops onto the couch. “I just don’t know.”

When no one answers him, he frowns, then laughs out loud. “Of course. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before.”

Shige can talk to himself for hours, discussing his homework, gossiping about his friends, and debating over the actual meaning of life. He feels his best after a long, soul-searching conversation, in which he can admit anything he wants because Wagahai is the only one who will ever hear it.

His bandmates wonder why he’s so quiet and closed-off, but the truth is that he just doesn’t feel the need to talk anymore. ****

> **\ii/ in the still of the night.**

Despite having the mentality of an old man, Shige is still freshly twenty years old, and his hormones are like that of a pubescent teenager. More often than not he wakes from a particularly obscene dream in a cold sweat, not completely asleep but not entirely conscious either, just out of it enough not to be disturbed by the contents of his fantasies – or, rather, the main person who seems to be prominent in them.

It’s not shameful if he’s alone, anyway.

Within the dark confines of his bedroom, door securely closed, he can be found twisting and squirming under the covers, biting his lip to keep from screaming like there’s someone around to hear the nasty words that want to escape from his lungs.

The tissues remain stocked on the nightstand, and recently there has been a new addition as well, a jar that stayed sealed for weeks before Shige gathered up the courage to try it. He hears things throughout the Jimusho, confirmed by the Internet, things that rouse his curiosity enough to have him swipe from Ryo’s bag when he’s not looking.

Not like Ryo is going to accuse anyone of stealing his _lube_ in the near future. And even if he does, Shige would be the last person he suspects.

He hides a smile whenever anyone tries to set him up with an easy girl for a meaningful overnight relationship. They’ll never know that he can please himself just fine, and if he ever decides to share that with someone else, it certainly wouldn’t be a girl. ****

> **\iii/ picture perfect.**

Even though he’s crap at photography, Shige has an album hidden in the back of his closet of every picture he’s taken since joining the Jimusho. Most are old, from back in the KKKitty days or even earlier, before he was so busy with school and when he actually had the time to go out with his friends to take pictures of them. A lot are of Kusano being silly, some other nameless juniors whom he hasn’t talked to in years, a scattered sempai here and there relaxing on his off time, but for the most part it’s Koyama’s face adorning the glossy paper, the memories of each picture crystal clear in Shige’s mind like it was taken yesterday.

Koyama’s hair hasn’t changed much over the years, much like his personality. In the rare event there’s a picture of Shige and Koyama together, Shige’s always surprised at his own expression. He’s never seen himself so happy, as if Koyama squeezing him around the arms and grinning like a pothead is the shining oasis that everyone spends their entire lives searching for.

Shige hasn’t opened the photo album in awhile, not since he was old enough to realize what those kind of thoughts meant. Out of sight, out of mind.

Too bad he sees a slideshow of every single one of those pictures whenever he closes his eyes. ****

> **\iv/ when it all comes down.**

The question Shige gets asked most often is why he’s going to law school when he’s a popular JE idol. The practiced answer, of course, is that he’s thinking ahead to when he’s too old to dance and sing anymore, because unlike his more talented sempai, he doesn’t forsee his entertaining career lasting past the appealing age. And when that happens, he says, he wants to fall back on his lifelong dream to be a prosecutor. Maybe Johnny-sama would keep him on as his own private counsel.

The question they _should_ be asking is why he’s still in JE when it takes up so much of his time that he could spend studying. Money is a big factor, but Shige’s parents aren’t that hard off and he could certainly get a part-time job that’s less stressful than rehearsing and performing constantly. Even after he passes his bar exam, he doesn’t plan on leaving right away. He’ll claim that he wants to ride this idol thing out as far as it’ll take him, but Wagahai knows the truth.

Shige stays for Koyama. ****

> **\v/ letters to no one.**

Shige’s not always doing homework. He’s not nearly daring enough to write down these kind of thoughts in front of other people, but when they call and he says he’s studying, half of the time he’s drafting letters that he will never send out.

They all start out the same. _We’ve been friends forever…_ He’ll chew on the end of the pen as he thinks about what goes next, how he should explain his feelings in a way that would be received well. He’s only actually finished a number of them over the years, each one a little more descriptive and adult than the one before. Eventually he accepted the fact that nobody will ever read them and let himself go wild, writing out his impossible dreams and what it could be like if he was someone else in a different time.

The most recent one is only one line long, hidden in the back of his freezer behind the year-old bag of vegetables. He’s not too worried about anyone finding it, because even if they do, it’s written in a code that only the other person would understand.

 _Wagahai loves Nyanta_. ****

> **\vi/ feline intuition.**

It’s cute how Koyama humors him. Every time Shige calls him, instead of just asking if he can come over, he whines about how Wagahai is lonely with this pout in his voice that makes Koyama agree to the fake play date before it’s even offered. It’s not out of pity; Koyama honestly thinks that Shige has a complex about asking people for things and tries to accommodate as much as possible.

It’s partially the reason that Koyama talks so fucking much, but he lets everyone think what they want. The only way he can find out what Shige really wants is to ask him a bunch of questions and read between the lines. The man is studying to be a lawyer, after all – they probably have a class called ‘Talk Your Way Out of Anything’.

Lucky for them both, Koyama is persistent.

“Tell me who you like,” Koyama greets him at the door, completely randomly without any pretense whatsoever.

Shige starts to turn around on impulse, but Koyama grabs his wrist just hard enough to stop him.

“You wouldn’t leave without Wagahai, would you?” Koyama says with his best sad eyes. “He let himself inside the second I opened the door. He and Nyanta-chan are playing already.”

Nyanta hisses on cue, batting at thin air.

Shige’s eyes narrow and flicker towards Koyama, then Nyanta. He looks longingly at the cat and frowns for a half second before following Koyama’s grand gesture and kicking off his shoes.

“I don’t like anyone,” Shige mumbles. “I don’t have time for a girlfriend.”

Koyama snorts, but lets it be. They fall into their usual routine of sitting around doing nothing, and Koyama thinks that they may as well be married with the way they’re so comfortable around each other – Shige’s stretched out across Koyama’s lap, reading a book while Koyama plays video games over his legs. Every now and then Koyama will jerk, upsetting Shige’s equilibrium and sending his glasses down his nose.

“Knock it off,” Shige says distractedly, flipping a page. “You’re disturbing Wagahai.”

Koyama raises an eyebrow as Shige makes a big show of petting an invisible cat in his lap. Nyanta peers at them from behind the curtains, exchanging a glance with his master before springing into action – he tears across the room and jumps on Shige, eliciting a surprised squeak from the latter as his book and glasses go flying.

“Nyanta-chan!” Koyama roars, diving across the couch to wrestle the cat away from Shige. “Bad kitty! You know he’s allergic to you!”

Shige sneezes as if on cue, keeping his head as far back and away from Nyanta as he possibly can.

Nyanta doesn’t budge, digging his claws into Shige’s thighs as he happily paws Shige's stomach, mewling sadly as Koyama keeps trying to drag him away.

“Let him stay,” Shige wheezes. “I’ll be fine.”

“No,” Koyama insists, hovering over both of them in an attempt to dislodge Nyanta’s claws from Shige’s flesh. “Bad kitty!”

Nyanta purrs loudly, making Shige giggle. “I don’t think he wants to listen to you,” he says, sounded highly amused.

Koyama makes a face and starts to retreat, but Nyanta chooses that moment to bounce his entire weight on Shige’s crotch, the results of which have Shige’s knees lifting to his chest, knocking Koyama off balance and sending them both crashing back onto the couch.

“Your cat is awfully forward,” Shige comments, stretching his legs out like Koyama laying on him is the most natural thing in the world.

“Oof,” Koyama grunts, surprisingly comfortable as he falls on top of Shige. “I think Nyanta has a crush on Wagahai.”

Shige’s eyes snap open, regarding Koyama oddly throughout the accusation. “Wagahai is not one for light-hearted crushes. He’s a very emotional cat.”

“Okay.” Koyama leans up on his elbows and smirks like he knows a big secret. “Nyanta _loves_ Wagahai.”

Nyanta meows in a way that’s almost affirmative, and Koyama makes a mental note to buy him some of the expensive cat treats for being such a good kitty.

Shige stares at Koyama in a way Koyama can’t read. He gulps, squirming uncomfortably until it’s obvious that he’s not going anywhere. “Wagahai doesn’t believe you,” Shige finally says quietly.

In response, Koyama blinks a few times before closing the distance between them, brushing his lips against Shige’s in the lightest of motions, but enough to send a chill down his spine. “Believe it,” he whispers.

Shige’s gaping at him with his eyes closed, as if he’s scared that Koyama will be gone when he opens them. “Wagahai _exists_ because of Nyanta.”

In the comfort of his cat bed, Nyanta watches the two come together over and over again, purring contently. He’s only a little startled when he feels a strong presence next to him, curling his tail around his in the feline version of a high-five.

Wagahai smirks proudly. Stupid humans.


End file.
